I read Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, Ph.D. for a book club. The book covered happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment and methods of achieving it. One concept mentioned is one that I've focused on in the past. Seligman and other psychology experts refer to what I would call people skills as social intelligence. If you would like Seligman's exact definition, see pages 143-144 of the hardcover edition.
Years ago, I did not understand people who were adept with everyone, I saw them as phony or fake. Basically, my view was "if almost everyone liked you and everyone thought you were their friend, then you were not being discriminating. (Just to clarify, by discriminating I mean selective).
Currently, I know three people who personify social intelligence but are far from being fake. In each case, even acquaintances believe they are friends and casual friends believe they are close friends. One of these socially-gifted individuals once said to me "I have many acquaintances, and few friends," but honestly if you asked the people this person indicated were acquaintances, they would have no idea they did not fall into the friend category. It occurred to me that maybe that is not a bad thing.
When I think of the warmth and kindness my lifelong friend brings to the lives she touches, I appreciate her all the more. When others seem to exude happiness (sometimes bordering on glee) when socializing with Friend#2 or Friend#3, it makes me glad that I know them and that I am able witness the positive effect they have on others.
Will I ever be like these three? I am self aware enough to state that it is doubtful. However, I am glad I realize the value they have added to my life as well as to the lives of others.
1 comment:
Being self aware is half of the battle and change is only possible if you REALLY work toward it.
I found this book to provide me with way too many insights into myself and then decided to share with others.
I am glad to see that you have such an appreciation for your friends.
Post a Comment