They call me Zumba Delicious

Not content to limit exposing my lack of rhythm to only one Zumba group class, I decided to visit another. This one has the words "dance studio" in its name, and they offer Zumba certification classes, which should have been clues for me to stay away. But no, lured by its proximity to my workplace and the inexpensive fee, I forged ahead and before I knew it, my dance skills were on full display.

The class started out well enough, the room where the class is held is spacious enough to accommodate a class of 30 comfortably. What's even better is that participants dance without the benefit of "house" lights. There are only colored spotlights similar to what you would see in a nightclub. You would think this would make it difficult for the instructor onstage to see someone at the very back of the room, but that was not the case.

After 30 minutes of following the steps better than I did at my previous Zumba class, (which is held in a fitness center that I deem too expensive for me to join) there was a short break in the music. I wanted to keep moving a bit so I would not collapse to the floor in exhaustion due to an abrupt stop. Others were moving I presume for a similar reason. But while others were safe, unfortunately I was not.

All of a sudden I hear this accented voice say "You in the green shirt, you are new?"

I felt everyone staring, perhaps everyone was not, but it felt like they were. As the instructor spoke, I was struck by the fact that had my shirt not been such a fluorescent green, she probably would not have noticed me given the dim lighting. But combine that with the fact that I was moving around and I became a prime target.

Thankfully I was not called up to the stage alone, another newbie (who weighed maybe 95 lbs) was called up as well.

When I reached the stage, the instructor looked at me and said into the mic "She is Zumba Delicious", and in a room filled with waifs and the modestly proportioned, I must admit her description was not wrong.

So once on the stage, our job was to dance with the instructor. This involved Zumba-ing facing the crowd and Zumba-ing with our backs (and in my case BADONKADONK to the crowd). Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to happen at my Zumba class.

I am just glad the instructor chose that time to do basic steps. As a result, I was able to do them correctly and at the appropriate pace. Still, I bet many in that room of Carmelites were realizing that at least one stereotype isn't true.